Few incidents happened lately that causes my annoyance and frustrations with the management especially to my supervisor. I’ve had bad experiences with my supervisor that did not do much on me but not the most recent incident. I got to the point where I lose my heart to my work and to the company as well. I even got to a point where I don’t want to talk to my superior anymore. I lost my patience and I just burst out. I came in to work late (an hour daily), don’t follow instructions, mess up my performance (which of course affected my scores) and I let go of my ambition. All this happened abruptly. My friends and family witnessed the lowest point in my life. They saw how I lose my grip on my dreams. I totally went out of control.
I am doing fine now however not fully recovered. I can smile again and I don’t talk bad things too much unlike before. I still am not able to bring back that drive that made me want to reach the top. I guess it is indeed hard to bring back something that is gone. Once you let go of things, you will find hard to get it back. I have learned to let go of all the pain and all the agony I had and surprisingly, it felt good. I hold my grudge for so long and let it destroy my self. I won’t be able to do this without my friends around me, and a family to lean on. It may sound cheesy, yes. But in times that you feel that you are at your lowest, you will only hold on to those people who show care and appreciation to you.
I wrote a letter and send it to my supervisor. I feel relieved and light when I send it. He also replied to my letter and I felt the sincerity of the message.
Here’s a copy of the letter.
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Hi TL,
I was hoping we could talk this over personally but I guess you’re busy now with you new team. Just want to say sorry on how bad I acted lately. I have been unprofessional and drastically change my work attitude. Kala ko magiging Masaya ako kapag nagrebelde ako, hindi naman. I may have caused damage to the team’s performance but I promise to make it up. I may have reasons to be mad but I don’t think that’s enough for me to destroy myself and dwell on it. Feeling ko pa nahahawa na ung ibang tao sa paligid ko sa kanegahan ko. Today I let go of all the pain and bad things in my mind. It maybe hard for me to get back but I’ll try to keep a positive view on life and career from here on.
Jhay
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hi jhay,
yea, the new team's taking a lot of time. and as much as i'd like to ALWAYS have time for any of yous, mejo stretched na ung relo ko ksi ubos oras tlga.
i appreciate the acknowledgement in all this. this shows a mature approach, as you are aware of what's happening and the effects of it.
in the end, we might not be best friends, but i guess the only thing i can say is that everything that i do in the office, i do for: a. the business; b. you guys, and as such, i'm hoping we could at the least get along.
i'm here, i'm not dead. pero shempre, mejo occupied tau pareho, i will MAKE time for yous. i miss the team. i miss the good times. minus all the stress, and the nega, and bad vibes.
that being said, i hope we can move forward from where we were. and next time, pag sinabi mo na hayaan ka lang, i won't. promise. hhahaha!
***not to sound like i'm preaching again, pero seeing the effect you have when you're "nega," imagine the effect you could have if you took a "positive view on life and career from here on," as you said. i wasn't kidding when i said you have the potential. you have great influence. it's just a matter of harnessing that influence to a more agreeable result.***
TL
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