Appreciating My Supervisor

I am almost about to give up on my work when I saw an opening for a QSP (Quality Specialist)position. I thought I could give it a shot. Anyway it was my dream of moving up and not stays as an agent forever. Well, not really forever but I wouldn’t want to take in calls for so long. I’ve seen a lot of agents that grew tired of taking in calls and I don’t want to end up being one of them.

I refuse to inform my direct supervisor about my goals and plans. I guess I just never wanted to tell him about it or I don’t want him to know all about my ambition. I have my reasons not to do so. As I’ve written with my previous blogs, I am currently loosing my heart for my work and even to the company. I don’t want to blame it all on him but he plays a big part of all my bad experiences with the company.

Since there is nothing to lose, I told myself that I should give it a try and apply for the post. The problem is that I will need my supervisor’s help on this attempt. He may need to print out my performance for the last three months and also his recommendation.

I gather all the courage I have and composed a text message saying “TL, nakakahiya pero ask ko na din. Pwede ba akong magapply for QSP? Gusto ko lang sana i-try” and send it to him. I crossed my fingers and even my toes while waiting for his reply. I feel this uncertainty and foolishness on what I did. I feel like I made a wrong decision. When I checked my phone, I saw his message. It says “wag mahiya, we’ll talk about it tonight”. I don’t know if that would mean good to me or whatsoever. I can’t think of anything proper that time so I thought I should keep my mind from the idea of what will happen next and think of something else.

I feel uneasy that night. I thought we will immediately talk about it or we will discuss it during lunch time. I also thought that we’ll talk about it in front of my team mates. I don’t want anybody else know about my plan. Again as I have said I am bit introverted about the idea. I also thought that he already forgot my application since I never hear anything from him about it. When my shift is about to end, he asked me to go to his desk. And so I did. We immediately started talking about the said application.

He never thought that I am interested in moving up the ladder. He told me that if he knew about my plans then he would have given me more responsibilities that I can somehow use as an asset when applying. He also asked me questions as if we were in an interview, he being the interviewer and I am the interviewee. So I answered what I think is good and he gave his feedback then pointed out my strengths and areas for improvement. Actually I refused to answer some of his questions when I started to understand what he is doing. He is preparing me for the interview. He wanted all to go well the moment I started the application process. He is the only supervisor that gave me the feeling of security. I felt his full support on what my plans are. There was also a point when he enumerated all my excellent contributions to team. He pointed out all the help I’m doing for each of my team mates. He also stated all the things that I should be equipped with which are integral for the post. I guess I really need more responsibilities and exposures. That being said, I asked myself, am I really ready for the said position?

I told my supervisor that since I am lacking of experience then I guess I’ll just apply next time. I saw a look of dismay in his face. He said that I should sleep it over and think about my final decision. To be honest, I’m not really sure if I am ready for it or not yet. I am still yet to decide about that. All I know is that this incident lets me appreciate my supervisor. I never thought that our conversation will end up this way.

But what’s the real score? Are this all true? Is he wearing a mask?

I hope not…