Still half hearted

Things are getting worst in the office. There are a lot of changes, new policies, and more pressure. They say that change is the only constant thing in this world. Yes that’s true, but should that happen too soon? As I type this entry, I’m still skeptical about the decision that I am about to make, the decision that could make or break me.

I am thinking of leaving the company I am with right now. But there are questions that still linger in my mind. Am I ready to leave the first company that accepted me despite my incompetence? Is it right to take my back off the people that I learned to like and love? Is my knowledge and skills enough to find a better career? Is leaving really the solution?

I may have answered YES right away but in the midst of these questions lays this one question that made me more confused in deciding. “Am I happy with my life at the office?”

Well I can say that YES I am somehow happy but that is just because of two things. First is because of my closest friends that gives me the will to move forward and enlightens me at times when I’m about to break down and just surrender. Second is my purpose of working, money. Yes it is true that when you’re in the office, stress is all over the place. You’ll encounter difficult customers, metrics to pass and pressure from your boss. That does not sound so good, yes. But think of the money you’ll get every month. If my calculation is correct then it’s like triple the minimum pay of a regular employee in the fast food restaurant.

But if you’ll ask me if I’m happy with the kind of work we are doing then I guess it is nothing but a pain in the ass. I’m good with work per se. I don’t have anything against talking and listening to stupid customers. I guess I am not that satisfied with how the company runs the business. I guess it is safe to say that maybe they have their own style in making big in the industry. I may not now enough things about running businesses but I have encountered good management from the previous bosses so I guess I could draw my conclusions from there. It is hard to divulge all things I hate about the company and it pains me to realize that your boss is becoming an enemy as time passes by.

I know in time I will have to select and make a decision. I may need to sacrifice one to get the other. Maybe it is also true that you can’t have it all. I just hope when the time comes that I need to decide hopefully I make a good one.